3 February 2018

Solving the core of your problems

Lately I've been figuring out a lot of things about myself. I've been questioning myself and my actions: why do I feel like I always have to defend myself, how can I get so triggered by people or situations, why do I react so bad sometimes, why do I feel like I always have to prove myself, etc.
I was always trying to solve the situation I've had each time, instead of looking deeper into the problem and solve the core of it.

"I'm insecure". This was my result of trying to solve every situation. Instead of trying to figuring out the actual reason why I'm not confident, I accepted it. Since this was something that worked against me in so many situations, I knew that I had to find a solution. I had to find a way to feel confident about myself.

After talking a lot to my boyfriend and listening to him and on how he learned to deal with the past, I knew I had to do the same thing as he did. The only way to feel secure again was to look at the core of it, the real reason why I feel insecure about myself. The questions I asked to myself were: what was the first time I remembered being insecure, why do I feel that way, what caused this feeling, what are the consequences of feeling that way, how can I let go of this, etc. After thinking a lot of all these questions, I came to a conclusion that I had to forgive some people. I've nourished in all those years a kind of hate and anger at some people in my past who were a big part of the reason that I started to feel insecure. Forgiving them and being able to let the past behind me will be the beginning of the solution.

The thing I've learned is that you'll have to forgive if you want to be able to move on with your life. This can sound impossible for some people, and it definitely was hard for me at the beginning, but if you really think about it you'll see that it's the only option you'll have in order to completely let the past behind. Sometimes you need to make a closure to start something new. And believe me, it's not always easy to do. But you have the choice to do the easy thing, which is doing nothing and keep on creating new problems, or to put a lot of energy and work into finding the core and being able to solve the issue and have a better life.

Since that moment I felt so much better because I know that I will solve this, I'm able now to work

with a clear and open mind on finding my confidence back. Each day is a new day filled with opportunities and chances, be real with yourself and create the life you want.

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